Well my dear peasants, once Benji and I discovered the incredible numeracy skills of the incredible T'Qozi, and the creative and incredibly flambouyant tendencies of Mr Lambone T'Qozi, we immediately agreed that we should have this chap, and possibly a couple of his closest voodo compatriates, come back to the UK and help us circumnavigate our ever growing mountain of tax and accountancy demands. I mean these people have the gift to count twigs. Not just the twigs either, but they can tell you how many squirrels had trodden upon those twigs, how the twigs snapped, and what multiples of snappage their current jungle squirrel value was ( or jungle beaver value if relevant). We realised after a couple of days that these guys had an invaluable but unrecognised talent for potential tax reduction. Oh yes. We subsequently rapidly scoured their land by motorcycle to search for more hidden treasures.

However it shortly transpired that the T'Qozi peoples know nothing of passports, snorkels, or Vicks inhalents, and care even less for formality, and so getting Mr Lambone from his native land to our own home territory proved a bit of a conundrum for myself and young Benjamin.
Furthermore, the total lack of photo booths within the lands of T'Qozi, meant any chance of faking identity was out of the window.

We therefore set about a cunning plan.

Mr Lambone T'Qozi was smuggled from his very country late one evening inside a large crate marked "Live Sea Turtles, Please Do Not Open". It took a mere 41 days before his crate was dropped from a gantry crane at Bristol docks where it was hurried to the airport to coincide with our personal arrival. We duly collected him and brought him by subterfuge to the Westcountry employing the traditional tractor and trailer method. There he was ensconsed within his very own brand new office. He is very pleased to announce that he likes it very much, especially the coloured biros, and multi-coloured paper clips, and is happy to sleep beneath the desk on a nightly basis so his tribal friends, and adversaries, if passing, will see the status he has achieved.

Herewith enclosed a charming photograph of Benji Ferrero rather cautiously, one feels, welcoming Mr Lambone T'Qozi to Bristol International Airport.

Our adventures within the land of T'Qozi continue and I shall endeavour to keep you all informed as and when I can be bothered, which might not be too long in actual fact!

Cheers

Aston