Tell Me What You Want, What You Really, Really Want

"My riches consist not in the extent of my possessions, but in the fewness of my wants"

Well done for making it onto this next section. The simple truth is that most people who buy any kind of self-improvement manual or guide buy it, have a quick flick through the content, maybe read the first chapter and then put it to one side and forget about it. People naturally want a “magic bullet” solution to all of their problems and if it doesn't “cure” them within a few minutes they discard it. The relatively small number of people who get past the introduction and actually want to read, understand and take on the ideas and techniques are generally the ones that succeed. They are the ones who are giving themselves the opportunity for change for a better future.

So, thanks for getting here. Imagine it as being the first hurdle on a running track and now you've got your sights fixed firmly on the finish line and success!What is it you really want? We think we can probably guess that you're thinking that you know what we are going to talk about in this chapter, but don't worry! We are not going to try and convince you that you should work out all the important things in life that will spiritually enrich your life and make you a better person. We are not going to tell you that material wealth is bad. We are not going to tell you that you should not really be dreaming of that Ferrari or that holiday in the sun or that posh mansion in the countryside.

Actually, we are going to say quite the opposite.

The only way for you to realise what it really means to have lots of fancy, expensive possessions is to actually have some. And only by owning your objects of desire can you be perfectly happy to live without them. You can only decide whether they are really necessary if you realise that they are not always as much fun, or bring you as much joy as the people in the advertisements are telling you. If you want something really badly then nothing we say or do is going to change that. The only way you are going to feel better is by having the things you really want. Therefore, you must scrimp and save all of your money, work longer hours, take another job or whatever else you can do and you will get there in the end we are sure. If you really, really want something then we are certain that one day with enough hard work and maybe a little luck you will get those things. And if that fails you could always hire a Ferrari for a day and then at least you would get a taste and memory of how it felt to drive. There is, however, a little secret to not having to scrimp and save, work those extra hours or take that extra job. That secret is simple: You need to learn not to want those objects of your dreams, at least until you are in the financial position to actually afford them.

So, if you are going to be able to afford the fine things in life that are calling out to you telling you that they'll make you happier what's stopping you?
Most people will answer that question by saying that they either don't earn enough money or, more commonly the real reason is that they are in DEBT.

It's difficult getting the things you want if you already owe every penny you earn to someone else! So the very first thing we need to do is get out of debt as quickly as possible. From today onwards we'd like you to adopt some new rules in relation to your finances.

The first rule regarding finances is about Credit cards. Those harmless little plastic friends that fit neatly in your wallet or purse. In our circle of friends and associates we have seen these seemingly innocent little cards cause more pain and misery than pretty much any thing else. And if the newspaper stories are to be believed, it's getting worse. Do not underestimate them.

This is the easy list of five main rules regarding credit cards that we had to learn the hard way.

• NEVER EVER get a credit card / store card etc… etc…
• If you find yourself with a credit card NEVER use it
• If you find yourself having a credit card that you've used pay it off as soon as you possibly can!
• If you haven't paid off the credit card at the end of the month DO NOT buy anything else with it until you've cleared the debt.
• If you want to buy something but won't be able to clear the credit card with next pay cheque then DON'T BUY IT.

Simple! It sounds obvious, but if you have a credit card and you don't follow the remaining rules then you might as well be throwing money straight down the nearest drain.

The same also applies for any other kind of loan too. Get the idea? It is common sense really but it took us a good few years to work it out for ourselves the hard way, but we are so glad we stuck with the rules and eventually as a result we had zero debt and actually started to save money each month. Cool eh? We both used to owe a ridiculous amount of money in loans and credit card payments each and every month. It was always a struggle to keep on top of, but eventually, bit-by-bit, we managed to pay it all off. Every last penny, until the credit card balance read zero. It even makes Benji laugh now because the credit card company and the bank keep sending him letters asking if he would like to borrow money again. Those letters usually go straight into the bin but occasionally he reads a few of them just for a laugh. The credit card company was offering him a credit limit of £10,000 and the bank had pre-approved a loan of £25,000 because Benji "was such a valued customer". All he had to do was sign on the line. "Offers" like this do not even tempt either of us in the slightest nowadays because we know they are just MONEY TRAPS.

This neatly brings us onto the subject of the advertising and promotional material you see on TV, in newspapers and magazines, billboards or in junk mail. Money traps exist all around us. Now, it is easy to see through the attractive marketing all the time, the smiley happy families on the television adverts, and the amazingly good times we could have with our new and improved "Product X". Instead just imagine years trapped in a cycle of paying off debt. See bank charges. See interest payments. Do not be that stupid any more. Benji was, but not any more.

He who knows enough is enough will always have enough.

Remember that saying. Memorise it. Say it to yourself every day you are in debt. Credit card companies and banks do not give you credit cards and loans from the goodness of their hearts. They do it to make money, lots of money - from YOU. You become their SLAVE.

It's all a case of actually opening your eyes and looking. Opening your ears and listening to what the companies are saying to you in their advertisements. You will soon discover the subtle techniques that they are actually using to push their wares upon you. They are trying to manipulate you into parting with your hard earned cash by selling you an impossible dream in the same way that a dealer manipulates a drug addict to buy his next hit. From this day on you no longer need to be sucked into their plans – simply use your eyes and ears and work out what they are doing and avoid them.

Once you are out of debt you can then start to get serious about changing things for the better. Once you start saving money you can afford to buy the things you want (within reason obviously!)

And of course, once you start saving, you are well on the road to being in the position to make a real investment in YOUR future. The beauty is that if you make a cash outlay from your savings as an investment in some opportunity and if you fail, then you have really lost nothing and can start again with a clean sheet. As long as whatever you do is well within your financial means then you really cannot go wrong. All you need is ideas, time and a little persistence. The trouble with a lot of people who fail is that they are too greedy too quick.

Happiness is like a butterfly, which, when you pursue it is always beyond your grasp, but, which, when you sit down may alight upon you.

Right. Let's get serious. This bit can seem really depressing. If you are in debt it seems as hard as hell. Trust us we know. BIG time. We both had debt coming out of our ears and couldn't see the end of the tunnel. But forget about that. Concentrate on a time in the future when you live a debt-free life. Imagine being free from the burden of paying off loans and interest. Well, that IS going to be you. And it won't take as long as you think either. You will look back and thank us for this for the rest of your life. Actually, you'll probably completely forget about us because you'll be too busy enjoying your new life. We hope so – that will mean that we've succeeded!

If you have got several debts, say a couple of loans and a credit card or three. Sit down and work out the interest payments you are paying on each debt each month. An incredibly boring task, but you simply HAVE to do this. After you've worked out what you're paying on each debt see if you are able to use the loan with the lowest interest rate to pay off the larger ones. If you have any savings at all use them straight away to pay off whatever you can on the largest debt. They aren't real savings if you still owe money elsewhere. The only person who is going to end up with your hard-earned savings is the person who lent you the money so you might as well give them it right now. The more you pay off now, the less interest you will be charged and the quicker you will be able to get rid of the debt – FOR GOOD. It is a long, hard slog, but it is definitely worth it in the end. If you are clever (for example by taking advantage of interest free balance transfer deals on credit cards) you can make life very easy for yourself. Just make sure you can keep well on top of this kind of activity as if you're not careful it can get out of control and you might end up in an even worse situation than you started in. The crucially essential rule is to not, under any circumstances, buy anything else on any credit card you may have until you have actually got the real money to pay for it. Do not kid yourself into thinking that you will be able to pay it off next week when you expect to have a little more money because something else is bound to come up to swallow up that cash! It does take a lot of discipline but once the debt is gone you will not need to pay a credit card interest payment EVER again. If you do use your credit card ensure that you pay it off in full every month so that you will not be charged interest.

If there is to be any peace it will come through being, not having.

YOU know exactly what you buy each week, each month, each year. We don't.

YOU know in your own heart what YOU actually need. We don't.

It all depends on you. We are definitely not going to sit here and say that you don't need that £15 pizza, or that £20 bottle of wine, or that £50 pair of trainers, or that £100 fancy new outfit, or that £2000 trip to the that beautiful island paradise, or that new £12000 motorbike, or that £50000 sports car.

But think whether or not you need those things or you just want them. You need to breath. You need to eat and drink. Do you need some new shoes or do you just want them?

It is important to decide if you really WANT to become a success you NEED to learn what you can do without until you become financially successful. Then you can have whatever you want.

Once you are completely focussed on how your finances are actually doing and not listening to the voices in your head (well, the voices from the TV, radio and newspaper advertisements anyway) you will gradually begin to find the whole decision making process regarding your purchases easier and easier, month-by-month.

Over time this will begin to just happen without any concious effort on your part. You will realise exactly what I mean sooner than you think.

From today, whenever you buy ANYTHING, ask yourself, "Why do I need this?" Is it for your benefit or are you the unconscious victim of some multi-million pound advertising campaign? Have you just put something in your shopping basket because you actually need it or is it just because you have been brainwashed into thinking you want it? You have undoubtedly been bombarded by thousands upon thousands of suggestions in the past without even realising it. Learn to see them. Actually listen to the wording of the adverts, examine the imagery. How are they really trying to influence you? Soon, it will become second nature and you will begin to spot the signs a mile off. There are really good books on the subject of how retailers try to get you to part with your hard earned cash so I won't spend any more time here.

Just remember what is really going on when you see or hear an advertisement. Whose interests is the final sale of the product or service really in? You can guarantee that 99% of the time that person isn't going to be you.

By this stage you will be well on your way to figuring out a nice little plan that will be the beginning of ridding yourself from debt forever.

The next stage is to think about what you are going to do to actually earn more money in the future. Stage one is about freeing yourself from debt and earning enough to get by. You may already be at that stage or something very similar. Stage two involves earning extra cash to supplement this job with an additional income that involves spending very little of your time. You earn money by providing people with a useful product or service. You may have some kind of talent that people are not yet aware of that you can do this already. Maybe you can write or draw or are good with your hands? Most people have got something that they are able to do. It is just a case of clever marketing which will enable you to reach your potential customers. Have a good think about what skills you have and how you could provide people with some kind of product or service.

Benji Says... The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time!

Don't worry if nothing comes to mind just yet, because you'll soon be spotting opportunities everywhere if you apply what you are learning here. Firstly, we will find out what not to do…