Reasons Other People Fail

"I do not regret the things I've done, but those I did not do"

Some people always seem to fail no matter what they try. Here are some of the most common reasons for failure. Make sure, whatever you do, you use this little check list which shows 10 reasons that often cause people to fail when trying to start up a new venture:

• Having a great idea and not acting on it
• Not believing in whatever it is you are trying to achieve
• Allowing others to let you stray from your goal
• Starting, but not following your plan all the way through
• Trying to run before you can walk
• Getting yourself into debt
• Being impatient and not giving your plan enough time to work
• Thinking that someone else must have already thought of it and not bothering yourself
• Expecting something for nothing
• Ignoring any of the above

Sounds like a lot to take on board maybe? Never mind, take it easy and read through the list again. Some of your best ideas will happen whilst you are relaxed and resting – so make use of that state! Take your time. After all: Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired. Try not to be impatient. Sometimes a great idea will take a while to get just right.

The inventor Thomas Edison was working on a project and was asked what it was like to constantly fail in his quest for the solution to his problem. He answered “I have not failed 700 times. I have not failed once. I have succeeded in proving that those 700 ways will not work. When I have eliminated the ways that will not work, I will find the way that will work.” He went to to find the answer he was looking for and invent the electric light bulb – one of the most widely used inventions on the planet! The lesson here? DON'T GIVE UP!

Benji: “There are, of course millions of other reasons that could lead to failure. Notice though that I used the word "could". You have to start being positive about things that WILL happen and learn to forget about what "could" happen. The more positive you are about something happening the more likely it is that it will actually happen. If you go through life thinking that something is not going to work - it won't. Plain and simple. The only way to really find out if your idea, or amazing new product is going to work is to get out there and just try it out.

You also have to make sure you give your new venture enough time to make it work. So often, people expect instant results. Even with the simplest of business ideas it takes a bit of time to get going. If you are currently doing another job and you are too preoccupied with this you may fail to give your new idea the time and energy it deserves. This is why I was fortunate to get a non-demanding job that gave me plenty of time to concentrate on getting it right. If I was still working in a job that took up all of my time and energy, there is no way I could have been bothered to create this guide in the first place!

It's incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busyness of life; to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success, only to discover it's leaning against the wrong wall.

Whatever you do, as I've already said, don't give up! You will get there in the end and you have to believe that even if things don't appear to be going the way you expected.“

Aston's Top Tip... Self-pity in its early stages is a snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.

GET YOURSELF MOTIVATED!

"Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody is watching"

By now, reading this guide should be making you seriously motivated into springing into action and fulfilling your dreams.

Aston: “Do fab possessions get you motivated? Mmmm me too baby.

Delicious malt whiskey, bargain at £120 per bottle! Lovely. I would have personally gone for the 40 year old bottle, although I suppose £1000 per bottle is almost excessive really isn't it? After all, that would amount to several cases of jolly fine claret and a full valet for the Jaguar. Perhaps next week!

Or maybe you would prefer a widescreen home cinema system? Or a dolphinarium.

Still not for me I'm afraid. I couldn't spare the time to watch it because I'll be here:

Oh well! I'm sure it'll all still be there when I get back!”

Benji: “I remember the days in the past when I thought I could never afford any of the sort of things Aston is talking about. We don't actually need any of these things do we? However, it is nice to have them if money is no object.

Wouldn't it be great to have these things without worrying about how to afford them? To get to that stage quickly you'll need to get yourself motivated!

The only thing I would say is that motivation has to come from within. Sure, read some books or listen to a tape or CD. It might well help. But at the end of the day you and only YOU have to really want to make the big change and turn around your life if you are to get anything new out of it.”

Getting yourself motivated to leap into action and start changing your life for the better can be easier than you may think. It has to start with you having a clear and focused belief that what you are trying to achieve will actually work and you will become successful. A good way to start is to make a list with all of the obstacles that stand in the way of you achieving whatever it is that you want to do. It may start to look daunting as the list grows longer and longer. But really, the more obstacles you can think of the better. It will make sure that you are better prepared for all eventualities. The whole point of making this list is so you can split what may initially look like an impossible task into smaller easily manageable tasks.

Once you have made the list work through each task one at a time. You will be amazed at just how quickly you will jump over any obstacles if you concentrate on each one individually instead of trying to work out everything all at once. It is like trying to eat a huge cake all at once. You are only going to make yourself sick trying to gulp it down in one go. If you slice it up and have one or two slices a day within a week or so you will wonder where it all went to so quickly! As you cross off each task from your list of obstacles it will motivate you further because that will be one less thing to do and you will be one step closer to your goal. So start now. As soon as you have finished reading this guide!

Every single day try to cross at least one item off of your list of things to do. Before you know it, you'll be done – and you'll wonder why it seemed like such hard work at the beginning!

Think highly of yourself because the world takes you at your own estimate.

We have talked about the fact that there is no point being financially wealthy if you are not actually happy with it. One of the reasons that people aren't happy is because they get affected by the stresses in their lives. Once you have removed the stress you are well on the way to becoming happier. If you are not constantly worrying about things then it is far more likely that you will have more time to reflect on the aspects of your life that are actually pretty good already. If you are feeling a little stressed out we would thoroughly recommend taking up a sport, physical activity or hobby which will give you the opportunity to totally forget about everything else and immerse yourself totally within it. What you need is something to give you a real "Feel good" factor. What ever you decide to do be positive and make sure you do it. This guide is as much about enriching your life as it is enriching your bank account - it is all a question of choosing the correct balance.

TRY. If you don't – you won't! And instead of just trying why not just DO it.

Benji: “When I took a step back and was reflecting on where I had got to in my life one of the things I noticed when I had a long hard look at myself and what I had become over the years was that I was beginning to put on a few extra kilogrammes here and there! Some people might just put that down to getting a bit older and enjoying the finer things in life but not me. No way! I decided to really do something about it. I brushed the dust of my bicycle and at every possible opportunity I would ride it instead of taking the car or bus. I also cut down on my alcohol intake a little and started to eat considerably healthier food. The results were astounding. For a start, I was feeling the best I had done in years. Other people were starting to comment that I was looking healthier. I will not say I was drastically over weight in the first place but I was actually starting to get quite nicely toned. It was not really much effort at all.

Just cut out a few fatty foods here, skip a few deserts there, save the excessive drinking sessions for special occasions (or even better cut them out completely), and on top of that do some kind of exercise that you are not doing at the moment! Take the stairs instead of the lift. If you do that every day it will all add up. That was a few years ago, and now it all comes as second nature. I definitely have not got a problem with eating the occasional pizza or burger but that is certainly not an everyday occurrence. Nowadays, I automatically look at everything I eat and drink and tend to go for a really balanced diet. I would not call myself a vegetarian, but I have quite drastically cut down on the amount of meat (particularly red meat) that I consume. Whenever I pass a fast food outlet or a pub I like to have a look in through the window and check out the people waiting to be served. The next time you pass one try it. Count how many "regulars" you can see - they will usually be the ones who look like they spend too much time eating unhealthy food or drinking in the pub! You really do see that over time you are exactly what you eat. It is an brilliant way to change your attitude to your own health. Just look at the state other people are getting themselves into through not taking proper care of themselves. The same probably goes for smokers - luckily for me I have never taken up smoking but the same kind of rules apply. There are some really excellent methods of stopping bad habits such as smoking. The key is actually trying them TODAY, not tomorrow, next week or as a new year's resolution and actually wanting to stop whatever the bad habit is in the first place. After all, you didn't used to do it when you were younger. What actually made you start? Have a good long hard think about it. Analyse it. The bad habit is a behaviour that you have learned at some point. If you can learn a bad habit, then you can learn to live without it. Full stop. Stop making excuses. Starting now.

You don't have to go completely overboard to get yourself healthier, with more vitality and energy. Here's something I do most days that really helps me feel pretty damn groovy. Get yourself a juicing machine or a blender and start making your own healthy juice drinks and smoothies. It is amazing what drinking a glass or two of freshly juiced fruit and / or vegetables will do to give you an energy boost! It gives you some of the essential vitamins and minerals you need to keep healthy and it tastes good too! I never used to eat the recommended daily intake of fruit and vegetables suggested by the medical profession. I cannot think of an easier way achieve a healthy well being than to spend a few minutes each day preparing a delicious drink with wholesome ingredients. Try it, you'll be amazed at the difference it makes. I would go on and give you a list of fabulous recipes here... but hey, gives me an idea for a new product to market!”

Here's an interesting fact. 20 minutes of exercise raises your body's metabolism and will increase the amount of calories your body burns for up to 12 hours.

Are you really going to sit there (on your arse) and tell us that you can't manage 20 minutes of exercise per day? We hope not. By now you should be saying, “Of course I can do that! That'd be easy!”

The lazy way to do exercise everyday:

• Get a cheap exercise bike or cross training machine (I've seen a really good basic model for less than £50 -C'mon already!)
• Place this exercise apparatus in front of your bed (Aston: “Or somebody else's bed”) so you pretty much trip over it when you get out of bed.
• Instead of tripping over it the next time you get up in the morning (Aston:”Or afternoon”), get on it and do 20 minutes of exercise. It's great to stick on some music or just contemplate what you're going to do for the rest of the day.(Aston: “Personally I spent the rest of the day exercising ones brain contemplating the entire concept whilst riding a pretend bicycle precisely nowhere without spilling a single drop of claret”)

Now that part should be easy. However if you can maintain 20 minutes a day for 4 or 5 days per week and perpetuate this for several months it will become a habit that you find it very hard to do without.

Aston: “Try not to fret if you are unable to purchase some first class gymnasium equipment such as I have in my stables. You CAN always do some form of exercise. For example try to simply swing your arms around a bit, go for a walk, go swimming for a little while, make a face like a King Penguin. Whatever it is, do it as soon as you get up. Work up a light sweat at least. (Penguin faces are ideal for this) This will get your metabolism working which not only keeps your body fit and healthy, but also pumps blood into your brain and will make you much more productive and increase your ability to deal with stress.“

So, anyway, what ever form of exercise you choose, after a very short while you should begin to feel healthier and happier because of some simple changes that you have made. But what has this got to do with becoming more successful? It has EVERYTHING to do with it. If you get your body working properly first, the rest of your life will soon follow. As you do this always remember to keep a positive mental attitude and a smile on your face. You must have heard the saying about it taking lots of facial muscles to frown and only 4 to smile. Who knows if this is true. Who cares? Happiness is the lazy person's emotion. Fact. It must be. How do you feel when you're incredibly happy compared with when you're sad or depressed? It's almost as if being sad physically drains your energy and being happy gives you a boost!

A smile is curve that sets everything straight.

Whatever type of activity you choose to do the key is at least do something! Anything that you do that makes you feel better about yourself and gives you more energy is bound to help boost your motivation levels too. If you feel good about your life then your life will present you with many more opportunities. Being happy definitely opens doors. Other people are more willing to interact with you. A smile is infectious - use yours today!

(Aston: “If you believe one thing and one thing alone in this guide then re-read the above paragraph and live by it. It certainly works for me.”)

Benji: “My most important additional advice is simply do not worry about today's problems because tomorrow or next week or next month you will look back and see it for what it is - irrelevant! If you spend your entire life worrying about what might go wrong you would never do anything at all. You may have heard the saying, "Feel the fear and do it anyway". These are very true words. Do not let such things worry you unduly. Above all you need to relax, relax, RELAX!”

If you do find yourself getting stressed there are some simple things you can start to do that will help you de-stress yourself.

First, lets explain what stress actually is.

Stress is bad. It really gets under your skin and makes you incredibly unproductive. It turns into a vicious cycle which prevents you from achieving the things you want to achieve. If you can stop the stress from building up, you'll find it easier to achieve whatever you want.
The trouble is that most people know what it feels like to be stressed but don't actually know a lot about it. Let's set that straight right away.

Stress is completely natural. What isn't natural is that in today's modern lifestyle we don't get rid of our stress. The reason the feeling of stress exists is to protect us from danger. Before humans evolved as a race, stress might have come from the danger of being hunted. The very real possibility that we would die or be seriously hurt if we didn't take steps to avoid a dangerous predator. Stress was there to increase our heart rate, to increase adrenaline levels and make us more aware of the dangers around us. When those dangers presented themselves we took immediate action by running, or fighting off the predator. And once the danger was gone, the stress went too.

What evolution has given us is, by comparison, an easy life. Most of us no longer face the regular dangers in our life that animals in the natural world do. The trouble is, the stress is still there. Or at least the perception of stress is. It is just stress that comes from telephones, computers, emails, bills, debts, etc.. etc.. The difference today is that the stress is not actually real. There is not a physical manifestation of it and we are not actually in any real danger from it and therefore there is nothing to physically run away from or fight. There is not the natural release from the stress that there would have been in the past. Therefore the stress builds up and up and it eventually leads to either a breakdown in physical or mental health or both.

So, what you need to do to counteract stress is:

• Realise that it's not REAL stress. You're not going to die!
• Give yourself a method of regularly releasing stress in the form of a demanding physical activity.
• Give yourself the opportunity to properly relax.

When you do feel yourself getting stressed and you want an instant way of dealing with it without having to go for a run or punching someone or something you basically need to do what hypnotists call “changing state”. We go through various different state changes every single day, like being happy, sad, quiet, stressed.. etc.. etc..

Here's how to change your state quickly if you feel the stress building up.

When you've got a quiet moment to yourself you need to first set the foundations for this technique. Sit, or lie down quietly somewhere where you will have no interruptions at all for a few minutes. There is no hurry at all. Take as much time as you want to. Close your eyes and take a few slow, really deep breaths. Now breath right out. Exhale completely. Do this a few times. You will start to feel more relaxed already.

Now begin by visualising your feet. The more detailed the better. Imagine them slowly being enveloped by a lovely, warm glow of relaxation. Feel the muscles in your toes and ankles slowly loosen and relax. Give the glow whatever colour you like. Then ever-so-slowly allow this warm, relaxing glow to move gradually up your legs towards your knees. As it goes, relaxation of that area follows. Try to visualise it really clearly in your minds eye. Keep this going until you eventually cover your whole body, gradually, one part at a time. Once your whole body is immersed in this lovely, peaceful sense of absolute rest, start the whole process again back down at your feet and slowly add an another layer of blissful relaxing warm glow. Maybe give this layer a different colour and make it pulsate slightly. By the time you reach the top of your head the second time you should be about as calm and rested as you can get!

At this point, in your mind, start to think of a time when you were incredibly relaxed sometime in the past. It can be anything. Being on holiday. Laying in the sun. Relaxing in the garden. Anything. Wait until you have the image and the feeling of being totally relaxed in your mind. Make it as clear and vivid as you can. Try to feel, see, hear, taste, smell everything about that experience. Once you're there start to gently touch your thumb and finger together and squeeze. Make the memory of the scene brighter and more vivid and squeeze again. Keep repeating this process for as long as you like.

What you have done is created what is called an “anchor”. You have associated the action of squeezing your thumb and finger gently together with the feeling of being totally relaxed. Now, whenever you wish to return to this state of relaxation instantly, all you have to do is trigger your anchor by performing the same squeezing action a few times and your mind will automatically remind itself of what it feels like to be relaxed.

The more you practice the association using the process above, the more powerful the anchor will become and the more your mind will associate the anchor with being in a relaxed state. It really does work. Try it.

Another thing that is really obvious, but incredibly important is taking just a few minutes at least a couple of times a day to actually take time-out and relax. It's amazing how many people don't actually do this. So many people go through the day and when they feel tired they do the exact opposite of what their body is trying to tell them. Instead they try to kick start their body into yet more action (and stress) by pumping it full of stimulants like coffee and cigarettes. Why not just have a little rest? Do nothing for a few minutes. Shut your eyes. Try the anchoring technique described earlier or maybe just stare out of the window and have a day-dream. Doing this kind of thing for just a few minutes is a completely natural thing to do and suppressing this natural state will only lead to further fatigue and stress. Listen to your body and respond to what it is saying to you. Take a rest every now and then!

Benji Says... What we do today, right now, will have an accumulated effect on all our tomorrows.